Ask me how do I feel,
Now that we're cosy and clinging,
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a bell I'd be ringing!

From the moment we kissed goodnight,
That's the way I just gotta behave,
And if I were a lamp I'd light,
Or if I were a banner I'd wave!

Ask me how do I feel,
Little me with my quiet upbringing,
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a gate I'd be swinging!

And if I were a watch,
I'd start popping my spring,
Oh, and if I were a bell
I'd go "ding dong ding dong ding!".

Ask me how do I feel
From this chemistry lesson I'm learning,
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a bridge I'd be burning!

Well, I knew my moral would crack
From the wonderful way you looked,
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack,
Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked!

Ask me how do I feel
Now that we're fondly caressing,
And if I were a salad,
I know I'd be splashing my dressing!

Or if I were a season,
I'd surely be spring,
Yes, and if I were a bell,
Say, if I were a bell,
If I were a bell
I'd go "ding dong ding dong ding!".